A Berm's Tale

It was the most fun birthday present I've ever given my wife. OK, the birthday I proposed to her was in the stratosphere by comparison. But when it comes to normal birthdays, this was a blast.

Ever since we moved in, she's been commenting on our fixer-upper front "yard" that masquerades as an office parking lot. First we got the indoors in order. Then while we could still mess up the front yard without the neighbors noticing, we used the front as "storage" for all the work we were doing in the back -- clearing out shrubs gone amuck, tearing out an old shed and turning part of it into a decent chicken coop, building a deck, setting up garden space, planting a small patch of lawn. Meanwhile, the front served as part parking lot, part yard sale without the sale.

Now that the back was done and growing, it was time to work on the front. I had 22 cubic feet of dirt and mulch hauled in and together (that's the "funnest" part of the present) we started moving and leveling that mountain into a nice looking berm. My wife was the woman who "went up a mountain and came down a berm." (You had to see the movie.)

Portland has two seasons -- rainy and less rainy. Actually the less rainy season can be really nice and there are even days in the rainy season when you stop and realize there still is a sun in the heavens. We have what you call a modified Mediterranean climate. The only time I've been to the actual Mediterranean (Turkey along the Aegean coast) was in December -- not your time for dry, balmy lounging by the sea. I've never figured out the modified part, but I understand the concept: dry summers, wet winters.

The best time to work outdoors in Portland is in the summer, which is why I waited until Kim's birthday -- at the start of the rainy season. Last Saturday, we decided to make a date to our favorite nursery to see what we could find on clearance. The weather report (which is more lottery than science here) said it would be clear until noon, enough time for a couple hours of dry shopping.

On the way, a few light sprinkles landed on the windshield of our pickup. Proper Northwesterners think of sprinkles as solar residue and keep moving. As the sprinkles turned to a steady rain, Practical Kim suggested we stop and buy a couple of umbrellas, my culturally appropriate NW truck not of its own volition having one. By the time we got back in the truck appropriately armed, it was pouring.

Three of us (daughter included) stood under the two umbrellas (why was I thinking three -- umbrellas, that is -- extravagant?), moving rapidly through the nursery finding the best deals on plants we really wanted -- Korean dogwood, Chinese redbud, vine maple, thunderhead dwarf pine, papoose sitka spruce. Water cascaded down around us like this was Niagara. The nursery guy, dressed culturally appropriate in rain gear from head to foot, graciously helped us find the plants we really wanted -- whatever was on sale or clearance -- and fast. At some point, wife and daughter headed for the dry shed/office, while nursery guy and I sumo wrestled sizeable container trees.

Rain I can handle. Thus my shorts, boots and sweatshirt. Cold rain is another thing. That wetness was getting frosty and when the lightning and thunder hit, the rain doubled its intensity. At the cash register, a sign read "5 food cans for the poor = 20% discount on all purchases." We left our greenery at the checkout, dashed for the pickup and drove to the closest store to buy 8 cans (I didn't want to look like I was doing it just for the discount).

In the end we got $340 worth of trees and shrubs for $160. Oh, and an inch of rain in a couple of hours. Back home, rain still pouring down, we left the trees in the truck bed for a drier day, and hit the (hot, indoor) showers. Happy Birthday, wife!